Sunday, 30 January 2011


So it was that i stood wet and loely on this strange planet. Looking round i wondered what i should perhaps wear. Though my skin was waterproof in this human form, I was beginning to feel the cold. Little bumps were rising all over my skin. Fearing i was having some kind of DNA reversion i decided I should quickly cover up.
Across the street I spotted a figure. Standing below a street lamp, the figure was wrapped in a brown material in the form of a long jacket. A wide brimmed hat sitting atop it's head.
I took out my requisator tool and pointed it at the figure. As I activated the double click I was shrouded in what I now know of as a Mackintosh and a Trilby hat. Warmth spread across my whole body. Nice.
As I walked away to find shelter I saw the figure wandering over, as he got closer he opened his coat flinging his arms wide. Unnacustomed to Earth gestures I felt that perhaps I was supposed to speak, I said 'cold isn't it!'
Assuming it was some kind of mating display I walked on as quickly as possible and resolved to remember the encounter for future reference.

Wednesday, 5 January 2011


my first thought on arriving in Britain was cold...
second came wet and then lovely.
Still I was here finally and was ready to make my first ventures into the life of earthlings.
 I would need a cover, ands so far my research had left me ill prepared. I'd been checking out the airwaves and had been looking at current film trends. The majority of these were made in a warm and bright country that really didn't resemble the place I had arrived at.
I later found out that all films are made in a place called 'on location'. this was blatantly not where I had landed. A costume change would be required, though in my mind, my current outfit was a perfect fit for wet weather. Were it not to cold I would happily have stayed in my 'Speedos' for the duration of my stay.

Saturday, 1 January 2011


 The white airplane thing had arrived to drop off stuff and the big white suited folk were prancing around banging stuff. After half scaring one of them to death and watching their tools go floating off into space, I'd figured it wasn't going to be easy to get down without detection. These beings, incidentally, speak another language in the event if mishap. It seemed that several different languages were spoken on the station but this one language, although the words sounded different, had universal understanding. interesting.
I wanted to get off there as soon as possible and the next available departure turned out to be a 'Soyuz'. On april 19th 2008 i made my final descent/
The ride didn't exactly go smoothly, I had jumped onto the vehicle just as it left the space station and my weight span it on it's side. It made for a not very comfy ride and it all ended up causing a lot of controversy on the planet. The whole thing was a cover up at first and I'll always wonder if that was because someone saw something strange that day and didn't like to say...